Forgiveness In The Fellowship Of The Father’s Family
Those who are born again are children of God and belong to the Father’s family. They are supposed to have heart-to-heart, life-instructing and interacting fellowship. But then, a brother or sister might “trespass against thee”. Christ recommends the way to handle such personal offences. It does not relate to church discipline, doctrinal or ministerial offence, or a person’s offence in society. Rather, it refers to offences of a wife to the husband and vice versa, or a member to another member or leader of the church. If the fellow apologises, then fellowship, understanding and relationship should be restored. “But if [the person] will not hear thee [personally], then take with thee one or two more…” to settle with him; “that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established”. If the offender is your wife or husband, do not go to their parents or your in-laws. Stay within the confine of the fellowship of believers to resolve issues.
After these efforts, if the offender refuses to acknowledge his or her fault, Christ says, “tell it unto the church”. This is not to report the matter before the whole congregation but to tell it to the leaders in the local assembly. Even if “he neglect to hear the church”, do not have bitterness in your heart or let it affect the progress of your Christian life. Instead, “let him be unto thee as an heathen”, because he does not have the grace to be a believer. However, if he needs common help such as with food and water or the gospel, give it to him. More so, as believers, we should not be offended at everything. We must come to maturity so that we do not count every little action, word or behaviour as offence.
- THE FORGIVENESS OF PERSONAL OFFENCES AMONG THE BRETHREN Matthew 18:15-17
(i). The Indispensable Forgiveness at the New Birth
Matthew 18:3,4; Acts 5:30,31; 26:16-18; Colossians 1:13,14
Everyone on earth needs conversion to get to the kingdom of God. Forgiveness by a human being is good, especially for our relationships, but it is not conversion and not good enough for heaven. Christ said, “Except ye be converted”, forgiven by the Lord and your life turns around by grace, “and [you] become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven”. A child cannot show childlike characteristics until he is born. Similarly, you cannot show the characteristics of childlikeness until you are born into the Kingdom. Otherwise, the display of such characteristics would be artificial.
(ii). The Initiated Forgiveness of Offending Brethren Matthew 18:15-17; Luke 17:3,4; Ephesians 4:30-32; Colossians 3:12-17
When an offending brother or sister does not think they have done anything wrong, you have to take the initiative to resolve the matter. Taking initiative is deciding to talk about it with courage. You might have to draw strength from the word of God and pray before you “go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone”. If the person accepts his error, forgive him and let fellowship, understanding and sharing return. Interact with him as if he never offended you. If the offender will not acknowledge his fault and apologise, do not stop, for the sake of his soul and your peace; “take with thee one or two more” brethren who are mature and impartial, and go to him for reconciliation. But “if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church”, do not bear grudge in your heart. Keep relating with the fellow like you do with everyone else.
(iii). The Insufficient Forgiveness of Obstinate Backsliders Matthew 18:17; Ezekiel 17:12; Hosea 11:7,12; Jeremiah 8:4-9,20-22
We must forgive obstinate backsliders who have offended us. But we must also let them know that human forgiveness is not enough to take them to heaven. As evil and terrorising as Saul was, David forgave him. However, that forgiveness was not sufficient to take Saul to heaven, as he did not have the forgiveness of God that comes with a change of heart. Due to his unconverted nature, he persistently persecuted David and even consulted the service of a witch when God would not listen to him. He died eventually still unconverted. David showed he had truly forgiven him by showing mercy to Mephibosheth, Saul’s grandson. Whether people change or not, we should learn to forgive them from the heart.
- THE FULLNESS OF POWERFUL OVERCOMERS IN ALL BATTLES
(i). The Binding Power of Unfettered Believers Matthew 18:18; 16:19; Job 22:21-23, 28
Believers who preach repentance and release from the bondage of sin must ensure they themselves are unfettered by corruption and compromise, and have had total freedom from the Lord. Unfortunately, many people come to fellowship with unsettled grievances at home. Such people cannot have the authority, power and the recognition of heaven to “bind” and “loose” because they are not free from the works of darkness. It is when we are unfettered ourselves and we put away private, personal, perpetual and every form of iniquity from us that we can have the “keys of the kingdom of heaven” to bind, loose and “decree a thing, and it shall be established unto [us]”.
(ii). The Boundless Possibilities of United Brethren Matthew 18:19,20
As believers, our unity earns us answers to prayer. The Lord is not interested in those who are united in secular things but those whose heart are committed to what He has truly ordained. He wants us to get rid of every indignation and iniquity, and be united in heart, humility, doctrine and holiness. Also, as we gather “together in [His] name”, He promises to be in our midst.
(iii). The Benevolent Pilgrims with Unlimited Brotherliness Matthew 18:21,22
Peter asked Christ how many times he could forgive his brother’s offence. He thought he could forgive only “seven times” but Christ replied, “Until seventy times seven”. Christ’s response shows that our forgiveness, as pilgrims to heaven, should be without limit. This kind of forgiveness demands genuine salvation. Anyone who does not have the nature and mind of Christ will find it impossible to forgive others. We may not like people’s actions towards us, but we must have a forgiving spirit and learn to accommodate them.
- THE FORFEITURE OF PRECIOUS OPPORTUNITIES THROUGH BITTERNESS Matthew 18:23-35
Those who are pregnant with bitterness do not enjoy life. The unmerciful servant in Christ’s story forfeited the precious opportunity of being at peace with the Master of the universe because he could not forgive. God wants us to show forgiveness to people who offend us from the depth of our hearts no matter their offence so as not to be separated from Him forever.
(i). The Fate of Unmerciful Oppressors under Tormentors Matthew 18:32-35
“Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, …Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?” The unmerciful servant was not compassionate to his fellow servant; therefore, his Lord “delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him”. As we relate with other people, we must show them mercy, compassion, love and tenderness. In our daily engagements, we must not be wicked, cruel, pushy and bossy to others. We must aspire to be in heaven and manifest from the heart the virtues of forgiveness, gentleness and meekness.
(ii). The Future of Unrepentant Offenders in Torments Matthew 18:7,8
Believers must realise “that offences [must] come” in life; therefore, we should make room for it in our hearts. But Christ pronounces “woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!” Instead of giving attention to people’s ill actions towards us, we should concentrate on the promises of God for our progress in life and ministry. We must not allow those who offend us to be obstacles on our way to heaven.
(iii). The Fullness of Unwavering Obedience and Teachableness Ephesians 3:19-21
“And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.” God gives us the fullness of His grace and love to be obedient and teachable. As we are obedient to Him in the area of loyalty, love, forgiveness, compassion and consecration, He will do great things “exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us”.
Congregational Songs
GHS: 232, 49 & 219
